As many as 20% of the population voted for the Labour Party in the last election, and we have done everything we can to reward our voters, (mainly immigrants, ethinic minorities, and asylum seekers). This is your chance to tell us whether we’ve delivered. Send your testimonials to testimonials@thelabourparty.org.uk . There will be a prize every month of a free council house for the best testimonial that we receive.

From V.I Lenin

I come to England 3 years ago from another country to set up a forged document business, and under Labour I have to say that The Labour Party has helped me in every way. Reduced spending on law enforcement, reduced border controls, more laws to stop the Police even talking to me, (Now I just say that they are racist and they back off!)  I have 4 council houses, 3 wives and a profitable business helping illegal immigrants to build their future in the United Kingdom.

I say that everyone should vote Labour:  I will certainly do so myself, using all 5 of my false identities.

From an anonymous businessman.

I own a chain of fast food restaurants, and rely on having staff who will take any s**t, and work for nothing.  I used to employ only third world foreigners, but I find they don’t work well, deal in drugs and generally cause mayhem, so I am immensely grateful to the party for allowing the whole population of Poland in.  These people accept third world conditions but also work well, turn up for work, etc, and cost very little. In short, they are fantastic.

Rest assured, I will never give a job to a British person ever again.

Vote labour.. the party of CHEAP LABOUR!!!!

Remember:  The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad.  Black people good, white people bad.  We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial.  Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

mmm