8 December 2006: Another fabulous question for Tony, our Labour ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Tony

I have recently seen in the papers and on the TV many stories about the vast sums of money that our glorious dictators Tony and Gordon are going to give away to Iraq and Afganistan and Pakistan. Yet I also read that there are thousands of children and pensioners living in poverty and that some people who are seriously ill are unable to obtain the life saving drugs that they need to survive and that hospitals are having to get rid of staff or to close down and that our wonderful soldiers do not have the protection or arms that they need to defend the new democracies now being imposed in the middle east.

Meanwhile prisoners are being given millions to compensate for having to go ' cold turkey ' whilst in jail. Also it would now appear that the authorities would like to give free drugs to addicts using the excuse that crime will be reduced because they will no longer have to steal to fund their habits if they are given drugs for free (will this service and compensation soon be extended to anybody with any sort of addiction? eg: alcohol, ciggarettes, sex, chocolate, etc:etc.)

The reason I write is because my wife and I are pensioners and we have worked all of our lives since the age of fifteen in the rain and the wind and the heat and the biting cold, paid all of our tax and national insurance etc: and we now find ourselves in the unfortunate position where our pensions and endowments are worthless and instead of retiring we will now have to carry on working until we die and also pay tax on our pensions and any earnings AND pay for any life saving drugs (and probably any operations) that we may need in order to be able to carry on working until we drop.

So my questions John are these:

1/ Should we go to France or Spain and ask for welfare?

2/ Should we go to live in Scotland and seek welfare?

3/ Should we obtain some middle eastern or eastern european passports and then claim welfare in England?

4/ Should we stay here and take our chances with the hypothermia or book an appointment in a Swiss clinic?

5/ Should we stay here and trust our wonderful government to sort out the problem?

6/ Should we convert to another religion and get special treatment?

7/ OR should we vote for and join a nationalist party and persuade the MILLIONS of other pensioners to do the same?

Your superb advice would be very much appreciated

S. T. Arving. (Pensioner)

Midlands region, UK. EU

P.S. I love Labour and think you are wonderful, (the greatest propaganda machine since the third reich) absolutely incredible.

Dear Mr Arving

Have you not read this site? Are you a bit simple?  How many more times do I have to tell you and people like you, that LABOUR IS THE PARTY OF BUSINESS. WE DON’T GIVE A TOSS ABOUT BLOODY PENSIONERS AND POOR WHITE WORKING CLASS OIKS! THEY DON’T VOTE FOR US!  We in the Labour Party only care about RICH PEOPLE AND FOREIGNERS.

In case you are too thick to understand how we are using our time in office to enrich ourselves and our mates, here’s how our fantastic foreign aid policy works:

  1. We give loads of lovely lovely taxpayer’s lucre as ‘aid’ to corrupt foreign governments.
  2. We make this conditional on the money being spent on British goods and services.
  3. We let our mates know, and they bid for these contracts at heavily inflated prices.
  4. Cheap foreign labour in the UK makes the whole thing even more profitable.
  5. Almost all the ‘aid’ is wasted on consultancy, etc, which does nothing to help poor foreigners, but, with bribes, corrupt foreign dictators and businessmen are able to enlarge their foreign bank accounts.
  6. This ‘money merry go round’ has huge benefits for us, because everyone who gets a slice of this fabulous taxpayer’s bonanza then contributes to our wonderful party. (If they don’t, we cut off the aid!)

What we are doing, in effect, is to use aid to rob poor people in the UK and give to rich people here and abroad. Fantastic!

In answer to your question about what you should do, quite frankly we don’t care, but the sooner you kick the bucket, the better as far as we are concerned. You are a waste of time and space.

Tony

Remember:  The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad.  Black people good, white people bad.  We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial.  Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

mmm