Immigration FAQ’s:   Here’s where we explain how our apparently completely irrational policy of allowing the entire population of the world to come here and destroy the lives of the indigenous population is not madness, but a deliberate and carefully created Labour party policy.

As an immigrant, or potential immigrant, the fact that the entire population of the third world can come to Britain, without any restrictions, and then systematically steal money from the British State seems absolutely incredible!  Are you stupid? Not at all.  This is a common misconception which is absolutely untrue.  We know what is going on and the flooding of the country by low grade people from the third world, who then steal resources from the State is actually exactly what we want.

So why do you want all this scum to come here and cause mayhem? The Labour Party is the party of business. At one time it used to be the party of the working class, but those days are long gone. We believe that immigrants are good for business, and help make business owners and very rich people richer. These people then donate money to our party, which helps us to win elections.

How are immigrants good for business? Immigrants are an incredible source of cheap labour. For over 100 years, successive governments have been forced by the power of trade unions and the democratic process to raise the standard of living of the poor, by forcing employers to provide safe working conditions and decent wages.  This has made labour expensive, and has meant that bonuses and profits for directors and business owners have been reduced. Illegal immigrants have changed all that. Now, as soon as workers attempt to withdraw their labour so as to force employers to negotiate, we simply allow another million foreigners in. (The ultimate in scab labour!) These people will work for half the wages of local people, who then end up unemployed, and powerless. Also, immigrants make excellent nannies, cleaners, etc, which makes life much cheaper for rich people.  (For more, see Employment Opportunities) 

Why is immigrant labour so cheap? Ilegal immigrants have no right to live in the country, and there is a constant threat of deportation (although we don't do this any more, they don't know it) Unscrupulous employers (and, let's face it, most employers are unscrupulous) offer illegal immigrants employment in sweatshop conditions.  If they complain, they are sacked instantly, and have no rights.  Furthermore, bogus asylum seekers are not allowed to work while awaiting a decision on their cases, but they are given all the necessities of life, such as free housing, food, television, utilities, health care, etc, so when they work illegally, the money they earn is pocket money, and they don't need to earn as much as taxpaying British workers. In effect, British workers subsidise the cheap labour that undercuts them from their own taxes, which is the ultimate irony.  The result is that British taxpayers directly subsidise profits for the very rich people who own British businesses. In fact, when all costs are taken into consideration, immigrant labour doesn't cost much less than indigenous labour, but the costs are apportioned differently.

Why do immigrants tolerate such terrible conditions? Most immigrants come from countries where life is cheap, and where their rate of reproduction is so high that their populations are at crisis levels. They are used to living in overcrowded slum conditions, so life in Britain is like paradise for them. Also, most of them are stealing state benefits by using forged documents, so all the illegal work they do is subsidised by the British taxpayer.

What other benefits for the economy are there?   The influx of large numbers of aliens who cannot be integrated into society has given rise to whole new industries which never previously existed. Consider this:

• 68000 new highly paid jobs have been created in the 'Diversity' industry.  These posts are mostly in local and national government, and the purpose is to ensure that organisations comply with legal and other requirements with regard to immigrants and non ethnically British people. In effect, they are there to tell organisations how to be nice to ethnics, at taxpayer's expense.
   
• Security:  With the influx of criminals from all over the globe, the private security industry is now flourishing, as the streets of Britain have become progressively less safe. Increased crime is one of the side effects of 'enrichment':  Areas of low diversity also seem to have much less crime. Of course, this has increased revenues for insurance companies as well.
   
• Increased Crime: The trade in narcotics has greatly benefited from the influx of hardened gangsters from all over the world, and this has had a significant effect on GDP.

How else does Labour benefit from immigration? All Commonwealth citizens are entitled to vote, even if they are in the country illegally, and they almost always vote Labour.  In addition, we have created systems which mean that even illegal immigrants from non Commonwealth countries can register to vote with no checks being made, which means that we can pervert the electoral process and ensure that we stay in power forever.  Also, as stated before, we are supported by businesses which benefit from illegal immigrant labour.

Doesn't the local population resent this influx of criminals and thieves who are stealing their livelihoods?  No, because they are stupid. Also, we in the Labour party are the kings of spin.  We are so good at propaganda that we make Josef Goebbels look like an amateur. We have a co-ordinated policy of 'cradle to grave' indoctrination, through our control of schools and, of course, the BBC and the mass media.  We have created various myths which we have repeated endlessly, which has resulted in the population actively supporting our policies, even though they will ultimately be destroyed by them! An impressive achievement by any standards.

Can you give some examples of myths you have propagated in order to keep the population docile and under control.? Sure.  Here are some real crackers, which the polls show are generally held beliefs by the population. How we do it, I just don’t know!

• Immigrants do work which the local population refuse to do, because they are lazy: This is, of course, absolutely untrue, but most people really believe it! In fact, British people are happy to work, but, not unreasonably, they want safe conditions at work and, as they have mortgages and living costs, they need a living wage.  Foreign workers have simply displaced local workers because they are cheaper. A good example of this is cockle picking in Morecambe Bay.  Recently the entire industry was taken over by Chinese illegal immigrants, working for a tenth of the wages a local worker would expect. Many of them were killed because their employer, a Chinese immigrant, failed to consider their safety as a necessity, and he sent them out on the sands in the dark with a storm tide rising.
  
  Incredibly, Britain has 9 million adults who are economically inactive, so it is completely illogical to allow immigrants to take jobs which they could potentially do, but, as we stated earlier, immigration is used as a means of destroying the power of the British working class.
   
• Most asylum seekers and immigrants are rocket scientists, brain surgeons, etc.  In fact, they are mostly uneducated, and many of them are career criminals, paedophiles, terrorists, etc, who are unable to succeed in their own countries or are actively being sought by their own law enforcement authorities. There is also a policy in some third world countries of emptying their prisons and lunatic asylums and sending them to the UK.  Only 0.4% of asylum seekers have any kind of genuine and worthwhile skills, although 68% claim to be highly qualified, often using forged documents to validate their claims.
   
• Being exposed to other cultures enriches the local population by giving them 'diversity'. This means that the miserable lives of local people are transformed by being able to buy a take away curry in addition to fish and chips. In fact, research shows that having large numbers of non english speaking children in school damages the educational prospects for indigeneous children, by diverting resources from them, and the whole population suffers from increased overcrowding, disease and increased crime.
   
• Immigrants never commit crime. The creation of this myth is a fantastic achievement, especially when you consider that 85% of street robberies in London are committed by black people, and the entire vice industry has been taken over by Albanians. Also, the entire supply of heroin, a major narcotic, comes from Muslim countries, and the trade is run by foreigners.
   
• The Health Service could not run without immigrant labour. In fact, 38% of resources in the Health Service are now used to treat foreigners. 83% of patients in the Mayday Hospital, for example, in Croydon, near London, are foreign born, and 90% of the AIDS budget is used to treat foreigners.  The demands placed on the Health Service by immigrants means that more immigrant staff have to be recruited to look after the needs of immigrants! A health service run by immigrants, for immigrants, paid for by British taxpayers.
   
• Immigrants contribute to the ecomomy and country.  This is, of course, absolute nonsense, but most people belive it, which shows how good we are at propaganda. Although a few immigrants do work and pay taxes, most immigrants are in low paid jobs and pay very little tax. They do, however, take cosiderable resources from the state, because of all the benefits they get. In addition, immigrants are far more likely to send a large proportion of their income, whether legitimate or the proceeds of crime, to their home countries, thereby damaging the country’s balance of trade. The net result is that they contribute very little, and in fact, divert resources away from the working class indigenous people. However, as stated before, they do help to make businesses much more profitable, which means the owners and bosses make much more money.
   
• We ARE tough on Immigration. We do everything we can to convince the public that we are controlling our borders, so much so that many people believe that there isn’t a problem!  (As I said previously, we are true masters of the black art of propaganda)  One way we do this is to mount high profile raids on famous restaurants in London, and when we find that nearly all the staff are illegal migrants, we arrest them and call in the press. Because the restaurant is so well known, the story gets in to the papers, and the public believes we are actually doing something about illegal migrant working. It’s a crude PR stunt, but it really works!  UPDATE: Following a raid on Conran’s restaurant in London, on 11January 2006, 14 west African illegal immigrants were arrested. Although the press did not report this, all were subsequently released, and unofficially advised to purchase new sets of forged documents. They were requested to report 3 days later to a Police station, but so far, not one has turned up.
  
  If you look at our official website, however, you will find, among the usual nonsense about how tough we are, one telling phrase: It states that there are still 600000 vacancies in the UK.  This means that we have a target, including dependants, of at least 1.5 million legal migrants for the year 2005.  We are pleased to note that we have exceeded that by a factor of 2. This year we note that, despite so much immigration, there are still 700000 vacancies, so we will be looking for a minimum of 1.8 million new entrants this year.(2006)  DON’T LISTEN TO OUR PROPAGANDA.  GET YOUR FORGED DOCUMENTS AND COME TO BRITAIN TODAY!!!

Don't you care about the fact that immigration is putting an intolerable strain on the Health Service? No.  We have private health insurance and never use the Health Service

Aren't you concerned that indigenous children's education is suffering? No.  We send our children to fee paying schools.  The more ignorant and uneducated the working classes are, the easier they are to opress.

What about the fact that Islamic terrorists are blowing up Tube trains? We never travel by tube, as we have ministerial cars, with security, so it's not a problem.

What about crime? This is no problem for us. We can afford the best security money can buy. In fact, we employ security guards from the third world to protect us from immigrant criminals from the third world!  The ultimate irony.

Why have you had to bring in legislation making it a crime to not like immigrants, particularly if they are not white, or are members of a foreign religion? We are concerned that our incredibly effective propaganda machine might fail, resulting in race riots. As an example, it's hard to hide the fact that foreign religious extremists blew up our tube trains, and the local population might start getting resentful. Now, if anyone doesn't like immigrants or their fabulous, lovely religions, we will send them to prison forever.

What about freedom of speech? We believe in this:  People are free to say nice things about us and about immigrants any time they want.  However, if they say anything nasty we will very quickly shut them up.

Have you declared war on the British people? No, not at all, but we have declared war on the working classes. We will never forget how the unions brought down the Labour government in 1979, which resulted in 18 years in the political wilderness.  Allowing unlimited immigration is destroying  the quality of their lives, disempowering them, and making us rich. Revenge is sweet!!!!

Why are you dedicated to furthering the interests of foreigners above those of your own people? Are you stupid?  Haven't you understood? See the last question.

So, clearly you are not at all stupid? Absolutely. We're glad you understand at last.

Remember:  The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad.  Black people good, white people bad.  We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial.  Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

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