Competitions

11 August 2006: THREE FABULOUS ‘MUSLIMS ARE LOVELY’ COMPETITIONS

HELP EXPLAIN HOW LOVELY MUSLIMS ARE
AND WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE!!!

We in the Labour Party have a problem. It seems, yet again, that Muslims, who we have invited to come to our country in countless numbers, are getting a bad press. Just when we think we are winning the propaganda war, and managing to convince the public just how peaceful, fantastic and lovely they are, they blow up tube trains or attempt to kill more white people by sending suicide bombers on to aircraft, which ruins our propaganda.

We KNOW that Muslims are wonderful, lovely people who only ever bring us joy and happiness through the ‘enrichment’ of ‘diversity’, but the trouble is, we need to explain this to the general public. A couple of weeks ago we decided to post an article on this site, entitled 20 Reasons Why Muslims are so Wonderful, and had a brainstorming meeting to get some material, but to our surprise, none of us could think of a single reason!

It seems that, in actual fact, we have very little contact with them! If large numbers of them move in to an area, we move out, and if they go to our schools we take our kids out and send them to fee paying institutions instead. Apart from a few rich Muslims who we meet socially in order to get them to donate to our Party, it seems that, in reality, we avoid them whenever we can. As a result, we ended our session with a blank piece of paper!

We have concluded that the you great unwashed out there, the large mass of Labour voting public have far more exposure to Islamic loveliness and ‘diversity enrichment’ than we do, so we would like to invite you to provide us with the material we need, and at the same time, win a fabulous council house!

To enter, answer the following 3 questions: (in no more than 50 words)

Can you think of a reason why Muslims are lovely lovely people?
Do you have any examples of how Muslims contribute to the whole (not just the Islamic) community?
Have you seen a Muslim engaging in selfless acts benefiting the whole community? (not just other Muslims) If so, send us his name, and nominate him for our ‘Muslim of the Year’ award

Send us answers to each of above questions (each answer counts as one entry) and all non white or foreign participants will win a FREE COUNCIL HOUSE!!! FANTASTIC!!! (Subject to our TERMS AND CONDITIONS) Email: fabmuslims@thelabourparty.org.uk

12 September 2006. Fabulous competition news!

WE HAVE A WINNER!!

At last, after a month without a single response to our wonderful Muslim competition (see below), we at last have a winner! Mr White of Bradford ( A white in Bradford? You must be kidding, Ed.) has nominated a fabulous member of our fantastic Muslim community for a free council house.

Here’s the winning entry:

Dear Labour Party,

I think I can help you with your dilemma as I come into contact with our wonderful and self sacrificing( no pun intended) Muslim Community every weekend.

1. The Muslims are lovely lovely people by working long and late hours to provide the drunken white oiks with curry and kebabs to regurgitate on their way home.

They also thoughtfully provide 24/7 shops that are even open on Christmas Day, unlike the selfish white shopkeepers who use the feeble excuse of it being a holiday! Where is their work ethos the skivers!

2. Muslims contribute to the whole of society(not just the Islamic community)...same as above.

3. I have seen a Muslim engaging in selfless acts benefitting the whole of the community...same as above. I would like to nominate Mr. 'Jazz' Jarrell of 'Jazz's Minimart' and 'Jazz's PBUH Kebab House' for Muslim of the Year Award. Although he is a successful businessman with a large property portfolio and several other business concerns including a taxi service, private landlord and philanthropically providing the local depressed white underclass with non-prescription drugs to ease their plight ( the man is nothing short of a living saint), he is of the criteria to be in receipt of the much coveted prize of a Council House. He is such a caring man that I understand he has now moved into the area of supplying baby products on a large scale.

Although, I myself am one of his tenants in a substandard property at an exorbitant rent, I would have been destitute without his goodwill and charity. This is in no way a cunning and underhand ploy for myself to curry favour ( again no pun intended) with the lovely Mr. Jarrell so he can rent the Council property to myself and thoroughly undeserving family.

I beg you to consider this bastion of our community for MUSLIM OF THE YEAR.

Yours,

Mr.White, Bradford ( and thoroughly ashamed I am of it. Not my fault. I have disowned my parents .)

Thanks for that Mr White, and remember, we have loads more council houses to give away to foreigners and dark skinned folk, so please do keep those entries coming in!

22 Oct 2006: Competition entries: Keep ‘em coming folks! (For details see below)

So far, it looks like Ayisha the winner, but it’s a close race, with everything to play for, so please do keep your entries coming: Remember, all dark skinned and foreign participants will recieve a free council house!!

Here’s a typical entry:

Dear Uncle Tony

RE: Miss Islamic Vision of Loveliness

The winner has to be Ayisha, no doubt about it. That Fatima is showing a tad too much nose, I reckon.

And as for that Bashira flaunting her hands like that! Shameless, brazen hussy!

I've spent a fortune in the tanning studio so I can look just like a lovely, lovely dark skinned person. Will that qualify me for a free council house?

David, Bradford

Sorry David, but no matter how good your tan, you are unlikely to work for £1 an hour. Also, you do not despise British values, turn our cities into no-go areas, blow up tube trains, or commit disproportionate amounts of crime. As a result, you don't bring us the 'enrichment' of 'diversity' which we in the Labour Party love so much.

If it was as easy as that to get a council house just by temporarily becoming one of our fantastic dark skinned brothers, we would have gone into the boot polish business long ago and made ourselves an absolute fortune.

As I have said before, we may be evil, but we are not stupid!!

Tony

16 Oct 2006: Fantastic new competition!

Miss Islamic Veil UK 2006!!!!

Ignore the propaganda! The recent pronouncements by Jack Straw, and other senior members of the party about the ‘niquab’, or full Islamic veil, were only a smokescreen. We in the Labour Party love all Muslims and want them all to have free houses, etc, as long as they provide a fabulous pool of cheap labour for business, and help us destroy the way of life of white working class British folk.

To prove it, we have decided to give you, the wonderful voters of Britain, the chance to choose which of our three georgeous niqab wearing finalists will win the coveted title of MISS ISLAMIC VEIL UK 2006, along with 2 free council houses, hers to let out at a profit, or to put her many relatives in.

Here are our georgeous Islamic lovelies, (phwoaarr!) along with a brief description of each to help you choose. Send your votes to unlimitedimmigration@thelabourparty.org.uk




		Who will be ‘Miss Islamic Veil UK 2006? From left to right: Ayisha, Fatima and Bashira. Irresistable Islamic lovelies.. Phwoaarrrr

Ayisha, far left, is 22 years old. She came to the UK on the back of a lorry with her 6 children and claimed asylum, which was immediately granted. Now she lives in a 7 bedroomed council house in Kensington. As a full time mum, her time is precious, but she still has time to develop her career as a full time benefits claimant. She hopes that her four sons will soon join the ‘jihad’ against the ‘great Satan’ of the west, and she is already teaching them elementary explosives techniques!

Ayisha’s hobbies include chanting political slogans such as ‘Death to America’, and reading holy scriptures.

Fatima, in the middle of our picture, is 24 years old and has 10 children. Born in Bangladesh, she came to Britain at the age of 11 to meet her husband for an arranged marriage, and started making children soon after. Fatima hates British values but loves all the free money she gets from the state, and, like Ayisha, she hopes that at least 3 of her 4 sons will become ‘martyrs’. Fatima is expecting her 11th child, so she doesn’t have much time for hobbies,(In fact, her only hobby is making wonderful baby muslims) but you can see her occasionally shouting ‘Death to America’ at political demonstrations. Fatima’s only ambition is for the UK to become and Islamic Rebublic. Wonderful!!!!

Finally, Bashira, aged 25, also has 10 children and lives in Birmingham, along with her husband’s three other wives, and does much the same as Fatima and Ayisha.

Which fabulous Islamic lovely will you choose? Send us your votes before 30 November 2006. All participants will also receive a free council house! (Subject to our usual Terms and Conditions)

	01 April 2007: Win a bag of sweeties competition: Yet another winner! Dear Uncle Tony My daddy always tells me to lock the door of the car, and he carries a baseball bat with him whenever we travel through Brixton in South London, because he says that the area is highly ‘enriched’. He actually laughs when he says this. He also says that whenever an area becomes ‘diversified’ with a large numer of lovely lovely dark skinned and foreign people, it becomes a criminals’ paradise, with drug dealing, protitution, gang warfare, shootings, murder, and general mayhem. He says that Police don’t interfere when dark skinned folk commit crime because they love them and they have been told by the government that it is not possible for them to be criminals, which my daddy says is incredibly stupid. I don’t understand my daddy, because at school they tell me that only dark skinned people can be good, and that we are lucky that there are so many of these lovely people here, and that they never commit crime or muggings. Who is right? John, (age 9) Camberwell Dear John Your daddy is right in a way. Everytime we ‘enrich’ an area by bringing in huge numbers of lovely dark skinned people, terribly evil white people come to that area and commit crime, so that it will look as if the foreigners are criminals. This is because many white people are racist fascist Nazi thugs. Your daddy knows this, but he still tells you this appalling white supremacist propaganda, polluting your mind with the notion that black people, foreigners, refugees, etc, are more likely to be criminals than white people, which we know is impossible.



		Brixton, south London All crime is committed by white people in this ‘enriched’ area

In fact, he has shown us that he is a racist fascist Nazi himself, and you are a good boy for telling us about this. Please email us with your name and address and we will send you a huge box of sweeties, at the same time as we break down the door and take him to prison. Well done, you are a winner, and if you want more sweeties, tell us the names of anyone who says similar things about dark skinned or foreign people, and we will send them by return. Yours Sincerely Uncle Tony

27 August 2007: Fantastic competition news.

	FABULOUS NEW PHOTOGRAPHIC COMPETITION: SEND US YOUR PHOTOS AND WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE! We in the Labour Party are immensely proud of our achievements during our last 10 years in office. Now, we are looking for photographs which reflect this, showing the wonderful, diverse, multicultural paradise we have created, and we need your help. Do you have photos of white, brown, and black people working together in harmony, or images which illustrate how we are all being enriched by diversity? Or how about pictures of some of our other fantastic triumphs, like the Millennium Dome or the killing of thousands of foreign folk, along with hundreds of white working class soldiers, in places like Iraq? Send you pictures to fabpics@thelabourparty.org.uk, and we will publish them on the site, and all participants will automatically receive a fantastic, spacious, brand new council house! (Subject to our usual Terms and Conditions) To start the ball rolling our staff photographer was able to find the image below, after searching for only a few minutes in South London, and we know that there are many more out there, so get snapping!



		*A fantastic picture illustrating the wonderful ‘enrichment of diversity’ that the Labour Party has brought to our country. Send us your* snaps and win a council house!**

Remember: The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad. Black people good, white people bad. We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial. Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

mmm