Refugee Status and Bogus Asylum Seeking is still a fantastic scam, and has allowed millions of criminals, terrorists, carpetbaggers and others to successfully enter the country and immediately join the State Benefits Gravy Train, enabling them to effectively retire.  Once you have started the process, you will never need to work again. You and your family will be given luxury housing, furniture, (including a television set), money, free schooling for your children, free legal advice, free health care, and a whole host of other support services.  Even indigenous citizens of the country, the taxpayers and hard working folk who go to work every day and pay their taxes, will never receive from the state in the whole of their lives the amount you will receive in a week! 

The basis of asylum is the Geneva Convention of 1951, which states that anyone who enters a country and claims asylum must have their claim investigated, and while this occurs they must be given all resources necessary to sustain the claimant while here.  Britain is unique in interpreting the treaty in such a way that anyone who says they wish to claim asylum is allocated resources at the expense of indigenous citizens, and, effectively, is allowed to stay in the country forever, irrespective of the truth or otherwise of their claim.

Here's how to claim refugee status:

1) Enter the United Kingdom by any means possible

2) If you are arriving by air, destroy your documents by putting them in the toilet of the aircraft.

3) Tell the immigration official that you are seeking asylum: Say just 4 magic words: "I am claiming asylum."  This will start the whole process in motion.

4) After you have been given free housing, food, money, etc, you will eventually be interviewed by an official.  At this time, state that you are from any country where there are political problems.  For example, if you are Arabic speaking, say that you are from Morocco, or Algeria, or some other hell hole country where human rights abuses are normal.  (Make sure you check that the country you are saying you are from is not on an excluded list, known as the "White List"), and that you know something about that country. Tell them that you published an anti government pamphlet or were part of an anti government organisation, and that your life will be in danger for political reasons if you ever go back.

5) Make sure that you claim asylum at the port of entry, or it is possible that you won't get your free house, money, etc. If you have been in the country for a few years, possibly as a student, and your visa is running out, do not claim asylum by going to the immigration office: Travel down to Dover, where most illegals arrive, and go to a Police station, saying that you have just arrived in a lorry from Calais.

6) The Asylum process is long and complicated, but don't worry: Millions of pounds will be spent preparing your case, going to appeal, etc, and all your legal bills will be paid for by the British state. The advantage of this is that it may take many years before you have exhausted the appeals process, during which time you will be able to take advantage of the State Benefits Gravy Train. ( See below)

7) If at first you don't succeed, then try and try and try again!!  In theory, you are not allowed to make multiple claims for asylum.  Once your application has failed, you are supposed to leave the country and never come back, but in practice this never happens. Although your fingerprints will be taken each time, they are never checked against new applications, (a BBC Television programme recently showed this), so applying many times is easy. Each time you apply you will be able to improve on your story, and eventually you will be granted asylum.

Once the process has been started, a wonderful opportunity is provided by the new Human Rights Act, which is a European wide piece of legislation designed to protect anyone in the EU in their dealings with government.  The effect has been to protect you, the bogus asylum seeker, in ways which were never predicted. For example, if you feel that the free house you have been given (See Housing, below) is too small, you can appeal to the courts to intervene.  It is very rare for a decision to be made against the asylum seeker.

Remember:  The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad.  Black people good, white people bad.  We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial.  Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

mmm