Banned Jokes

All jokes on this page are banned. Any person found reading, writing, propagating (by any means), or laughing at any of this material will soon find themselves serving long periods of penal servitude.  Please understand that they are NOT FUNNY.

Even though our prisons are full, you can rest assured that we can always find space for evil racists, especially if they are trying to be funny. You have been warned!

30 June 2007:  Another appalling banned joke. (Received by email)

Subject: England

10000 immigrants were asked if the UK should change its currency.
95% said "no, they are quite happy with the Giro"!

 

Illegal Immigrants Poem


I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk.
 
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.

Welfare say, "You come no more, we send cash right to your door."

Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!

By and by, I got plenty money.
Thanks to you, British dummy!

  Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them "come fast as you can."

   They come in turbans and Ford trucks.
I buy big house with welfare bucks!

   They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better!
          
Fourteen families, they moving in,
but neighbour's patience wearing thin.

 Finally, white guy moves away.
Now I buy his house,then I say,

     "Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.

  Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood.

           We have hobby, it's called  breeding.Welfare pay for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wife need pills? We get free! We got no bills!

Britain crazy! They pay all year, To keep welfare running here.

We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for the white man race!

If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Pakistan!

 

  PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW
 

12 November 2006:  Arrest the owners of You Tube for carrying this appalling banned joke. As we have said before, anyone watching it will be arrested. 

01 February 2006:  Another appalling banned joke:

Subject: Adventure of a lifetime?


If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:


Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration
Quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical
care for you and your entire family.
Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local
government forms, bulletins, etc.
Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, "It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand."
 

Keep your British identity strong:

  • Fly your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in
    your front window, or on your car bumper.
  • Speak only English at home and in public, and insist that your
    children do likewise.
  • Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school System.
  • Demand a local country driver license. This will afford other legal
    rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
  • Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic Laws.
  • Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its Officers.
  • Organise protest marches against your host country, inciting violence
    against non-Brits, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.

Good luck! You'll soon be dead.
 

Because it will never happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq or any
other country in the world except right here in the UK, for we are run by
soft, politically correct politicians, that are too scared to "offend" anyone.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you don't, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
 

Good luck

 

Remember:  The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad.  Black people good, white people bad.  We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial.  Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years.

mmm