Welcome to the true home of the British Labour Party

This site has been created by Labour Party supporters and enthusiasts to help explain the true nature of our policies and what we are trying to achieve.

We are also providing valuable resources for Labour canvassers, who are often asked awkward questions on the doorstep. Hopefully, this site will provide you with everything you need to give as good as you get from the small number of stupid people out there who don’t understand our policies on immigration, the economy, and why we are at war.

New!!! Visit our Ask Gordon section (formerly ‘Ask Tony’) , to have your questions answered by our very own Labour Agony Uncle, and Testimonials from satisfied voters (mostly ethnic minorities).

For the latest updates see below. 

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JOIN OUR FANTASTIC NEW LABOUR PARTY WEB FORUM

Tell us how wonderful we are, or be sent to prison!

Click HERE.

Fantastic new section: Foreign and dark skinned folk in the news.

We in the Labour Party are immensely proud of the fact that it was us who finally dismantled the borders of the UK, so that unlimited numbers of fabulous, wonderful dark skinned and foreign folks could come here and bring us all their loveliness, enriching economically disadvantaged local people with their diversity, and the business community with the fantastic gift of cheap labour.

Well, it seems that there are now so many of them that hardly a day goes by without them appearing in the news, with their fantastic foreign and dark skinned ways, so much so, that we have dedicated an entire page of this site to news reports about the wonderful things that non indigenous folks do. Click here to view the latest updates, and if you have any suggestions for links that should be included, email us at wehatewhitebritishpeople@thelabourparty.org.uk
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New! Join our ‘genocide’ debate on the best way to displace and destroy the indigenous white population of the UK, while there’s still time, and win a council house! Click HERE.

 

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26 January 2009: Another fabulous letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

God helps those who help themselves. (Like us!)

Dear Gordon, or should that be dear James (see you Jimmy), or should that actually be Dear PETER? Sorry, DEAR lord Peter! (Definitely ‘Dear Gordon. Ed’)
 
 I have been in business for twenty five years, given employment to many really good people, built up a really good business and have worked hard and paid all my tax and national insurance and also been prudent and put most of my profits into a pension scheme and an endowment. I now find myself in the TERRIBLE situation of facing retirement but have discovered that all of my savings and investments are almost useless. My financial advisor tells me that YOU have 'raided' my pension fund and that due to the 'crash of 09' my endowment is almost worthless.

My problem is, that over the last twelve months or so business has diminished rapidly, I have had to let all my staff go ( that broke my heart) and am now trying to single-handedly run and save the company. Recently though (probably due to the stress of it all) I have been diagnosed with an illness, so naturally I presumed that I would be entitled to benefits or allowances, (as I have never been sick or unemployed). Well, what a surprise. It would appear that although over the years I have paid out a fortune in tax, national insurance and business rates etc: that I can't claim anything!

What I am unable to understand however (and call me thick or stupid if you like) is how on earth strange people can come here from overseas and get loads of money and yet some (well, most, actually) don't even have to work for it. Apparantly loads of new strangers have come here for only six months in order to get a national insurance number, then claimed as many benefits as is possible, then gone 'back home' and are STILL getting benefits for themselves and their CHILDREN who have never even LIVED here. Is this what is known as 'foreign aid'?

So, in two thousand and ten I find myself in the awful position of trying to survive, not quite old enough to claim the state pension, most likely having to close down or bankrupt my company (all my wonderful staff on the dole, (sorry!! 'jobseekers allowance') and also deal with unexpected illness (without ANY benefits). What do you suggest? Seeing that I have been a life-long Labour supporter and that I was gullible enough to believe that you were going to make this country such a wonderful place to live.

ALL of my friends are trying to persuade me to vote for and support the British National Party because they think it is the ONLY party that are going to be able to dig us out of the hole that you have put us in.

Please help (a fellow Scotsman)

Jock Banks.

Lothian region EU.

Dear Jock

I would have thought the answer would be obvious: Emigrate, or crawl into a hole and die. We don’t have any time for worthless white people like you because, unlike the wonderful dark skinned community, your Labour vote can’t be guaranteed.

It has never been out intention to make Britain a wonderful place to live in for whinging white people: Only dark skinned and foreign folks were ever meant to enjoy the benefits of our time in office.

We cannot, therefore, assist you in any way, no matter how many times you ask us, and despite the fact that you are obviously in need. Sort yourself out, and don’t bother us.

We also don’t care if you vote BNP, because we now have foolproof vote rigging mechanisms in place, so they will never win. As Uncle Joe of the Soviet Union said, ‘It’s not who you vote for that counts, it’s who counts the votes!’

Our advice to you is to help yourself. That’s what we’ve been doing, with considerable success, for the past 13 years!

Gordon

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17 January 2010: Another fabulous letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Please bring more immigrants and dark skinned folks to my town so that we, too can experience the ‘enrichment of diversity’!

Dear Gordon,

I write to you today with great concern. The problem that I have been burdened with is that, after moving out of South London approximately three years ago I have been appalled with the cultural enrichment, or lack of it in my new home town!

A typical day out and about in town leaves me with a tally chart of only ONE Zulu warrior, no regular encounters with Allah’s chosen and... Sorry to burden you with this, but no 8-floor high mosque either! I can't remember the last time I saw a lucky Brit indulging in the benefits of a ‘salt-and-pepper’ themed

relationship, nor any such offspring. I don't know about you but chocolate/vanilla ice cream is my favourite. (On that note I thought it may be useful to alert you to the fact that I even saw a school class where every student had blonde hair, in which case I am led to believe that this school is operation some kind of underground Nazi regime and I can supply you with the address if needs be.)

The purpose of this e-mail is to ask you this; How can I encourage my local townsfolk to ‘boot polish’ up the town? I'm sorry to say I am at my wits end, I've tried everything.

HELP ME GORDON!

Chris, Herne Bay
south_london2010small

A colourful, vibrant street scene from wonderful, diverse South London yesterday. Our immigration plans mean that the whole of the UK will soon be like this, and no part of our country will be spared the wonders of this fantastic ‘enrichment’!

Dear Chris

Thanks for your email. Unfortunately, there are still parts of the UK which have not been fully diversified, with all the fabulous, exciting changes that this brings to ordinary citizens, but I have good news for you: We have, despite opposition from the disgusting, racist, nazi white British population, managed to increase still further the numbers of lovely dark skinned folks immigrating to the UK, (and we use the benefits system to ensure that they breed very fast when here). This will make the task of diversifying the entire nation much simpler.

One problem we had In the past was that immigrants tended to settle in London and other major cities, thereby depriving smaller towns and villages of the wonders of multiculturalism, but as the cities are now completely full, it is becoming much easier for us to spread all this vibrancy and cultural enrichment to every small village, hamlet and town, much faster than was previously possible.

Therefore, you and your fellow townsfolk therefore need to do nothing: Diversity enrichment is coming your way very very soon, whether you want it or not! 

Gordon 

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31 August 2009: Another fabulous letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

Congratulations on your new New Labour website.

I thought you might like to see how our wonderful new immigration policy has enriched our democracy.  You know, honesty and integrity in politics are so 'yesterday', and what we really need is a new democracy where the governing party is the one who can forge the most votes.

Political corruption is a key element in the success of economies like Syria , Nigeria and Zimbabwe , and we should be replicating that very real success here in the UK . We have some minor corruption in the UK , but this is simply not up to Islamic and world standards; only when we have embraced the undoubted benefits of Islamic democratic methodology will we reap the full benefits of Caliphate membership. Only then will we be able to subjugate women and eliminate the Kuffer forever, as the 'Book of Peace' proscribes.

Here is the latest news on the ongoing campaign for Islamic-style democracy in Britain :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/4406575.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/8029979.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/7302809.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/7936981.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cambridgeshire/7659828.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_yorkshire/4536101.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/6590665.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/nottinghamshire/6655675.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/4359536.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/6181276.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/4353709.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/politics/40525.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lancashire/6178224.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/1920893.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cambridgeshire/7335364.stm

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/councillors-guilty-of-postal-votes-fraud-that-would-shame-a-banana-republic-531213.html

(The last case has gone missing from the BBC website, for some reason)

Only through this fundamental change in governance will Britain be able to fully join in the tangible benefits of Caliphate membership. We will then be able to join in the great successes of the Islamic Ummah in being:

But remember, this will only be achieved through the urgent adoption of Islamic democratic techniques and procedures, so start applying for those ghost voter registration forms now. Printing and copying services are available in regional party headquarters, so get those forged documents in the post now.

You know it makes sense.

Ralph, Dunbarton


Dear Ralph

Thank you for your excellent and well researched letter, and I agree with all your points, with the exception of your statement that we only have ‘minor corruption’ in the UK. Since we came to power in 1997 we have worked tirelessly to pervert the electoral process, by importing millions of third world Labour voters, and creating systems where it is possible for ethnic and religious groups, such as the Islamic community, to fabricate nonexistent voters simply by filling in a form!

Unfortunately, the process was not completely functioning during the European elections, but, rest assured, we plan to do whatever it takes to win in the forthcoming general election.

The Labour Party motto: Elections: We cheat and we win!

Regards

Gordon

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Fabulous Labour Party MP’s expenses news. 1 May 2009

Home Secretary’s special ‘DIY’ expenses appeal.

We urgently need your help. As you will all know, MP’s expenses are under scrutiny like never before, by the traitorous British press, and as a result, we are having to curtail our claims on the public purse. One of the worst examples of this was the revelation, accompanied by much tittering, that Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, has claimed back the cost of pornographic films watched by her husband from the taxpayer funded Parliamentary Fees Office.

In our opinion, this is a legitimate expense, and we are frankly outraged at the sniggering, sneering attitude of the disgusting gutter press and its readers, who completely fail to understand the problems faced by

government ministers and their spouses and partners. 

Imagine, for a moment, that you were in the same situation: A normal person, with normal sexual urges, married to a government minister, who has to spend long periods of time away from home because of her job, thus making it impossible to get a shag.

Worse still, when your wife does come home, she is a revolting, white man hating Labour Party matron, with less sex appeal than the average slug. What on earth do you do?

The answer is, of course, that you resort to an old fashioned, guaranteed orgasm, no headache ‘five knuckle shuffle’ and, naturally, a few ‘adult films’ help the process along. (As does a box of tissues and a bottle of baby oil.)

We need your help: Please help the Home Secretary’s husband (and others in the Party), by sending your X rated films (under plain cover) to the House of Commons, along with boxes of tissues and baby oil, so that hard working Labour Party folks, and their partners, can enjoy a quick wank in peace.

As we will no longer be reimbursed for the cost of wank material, we are appealing directly to you, the right thinking and decent great British public, to send us as many X rated ‘fanny’ films as possible, so that we can create a library of material in the House of Commons, thereby preventing this appalling situation occurring again.

We are particularly interested in films which involve the following:

  • Lesbian lust and girl on girl action, no matter how improbable
  • Sucking off and oral sex
  • Inter racial sex: Black men with unfeasably large dongers having sex with unbelievably georgeous white women. (This is the only kind of sex we really approve of, as it is politically correct.)
  • Spanking and SM, as long as its legal
  • Farmyard animals
  • Domination and humiliation

Please, send your DVD’s (under plain cover), or a donation of £5 or more, so that we can buy stuff online, to:

The Right Honorouble Jacqui Smith MP,
Home Secretary,
Wank Material Appeal
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA

Please note: Please send new material only. Anything we receive which is in any way sticky or otherwise stained, will be rejected and destroyed. Also please note that it is not legal to send kiddie porn through the post, despite the fact that many Labour politicians enjoy material of that type, (and are serving jail terms as a result), so we have to be careful. Let us know where it is and we will send a government vehicle to collect it, no questions asked. Thank you for your understanding and generosity.

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28 March 2009: Another fabulous letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Cockroaches and the ‘enrichment of diversity’

Dear Uncle Gordon

I wonder if you could help solve a dilemma for me. The council flat I am living in has become infested with cockroaches, and the other day, while in the supermarket, I was looking at different sprays and poisons to get rid of them. However, my son, who goes to an inner city school, and who has been indoctrinated with Labour Party Politically Correct propaganda for the last 8 years, tells me that trying to harm, or even disliking these 'lovely lovely insects' is wrong. He says that, although they are different from us, enter our

homes uninvited, breed copiously, contribute nothing to the general wellbeing, steal resources, ignore our culture, make life unliveable for the indigenous population, and force us from our homes, they are still fabulous, wonderful creatures who, through their difference, bring us unlimited joy and happiness.

He tells us that, instead of trying to eliminate cockroaches, we should 'celebrate' the 'enrichment of diversity' that they bring us and that anybody who discriminates against them in any way is being 'insectist', and will end up in jail. (Although,I should add, this law is only ever enforced against white people of British origin.)

Is my son correct, and if so, would it be better if I moved out, so that these lovely lovely unwanted guests can live in the style to which they are

Cockroaches: Official Labour Party Policy is that they do not in any way resemble the vast number of immigrants who come to our country every year, and are not entitled to free houses, money and all other state resources.

accustomed, taking advantage, no doubt, of the vast amounts of government money which will be given to them, while my family and I live in cardboard boxes on the pavement? That would, of course, be preferable to going to prison and being gang banged in the showers.
 

Steve, Oswestry

Dear Steve

Your son has an excellent understanding of Labour Party philosophy, and I am pleased to note that he has fully assimilated every aspect of the indoctrination he has received at school. 

I can, however, assure you, that at the present time the Party has no plans to extend the legal protection we provide to immigrants and dark skinned folk to cockroaches, and as a result, you may use whatever means you have at your disposal to rid your flat of all insects. 

In fact, we would encourage you to do so, so that when we evict you and allocate your flat to a fabulous, and very deserving dark skinned or foreign family, they will not have to put up with pests.

Gordon

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23 November 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our fantastic Labour Party ‘agony uncle’

Dear Uncle Gordon

I would like to congratulate you and the Labour Party Dirty Tricks Department for publishing the names of members of the utterly evil BNP all over the internet. There have already been reports of threats and intimidation of party members by Labour Party vigilantes, and, of course, the loss of public service jobs by those named on the list.

There is, however, one thing that worries me, and leads me to believe that the whole thing could backfire. Some of our Labour Party ‘Storm Troopers’ are violent barbarians, capable of acts of such savagery that they make anything the BNP has done look like a teddy bear’s picnic, and I can easily foresee scenarios where deaths and injuries result. I know that BNP supporters won’t take this lying down, and we could end up with a

race war. At the very least, the BNP could end up with martyrs, and the moral high ground, which would result in a loss of support for us.

Do you think, in the light of the potential for civil unrest, that could result from your actions, that it was wise to do this?

Steve, Aberdeen

P.S. I note that you have even drawn the Police into the battle, as evidenced by events in Liverpool on Saturday.Don’t you think that there is a risk that police community relations could be damaged?

Dear Steve

These are interesting questions, which we definitely considered before we published the list, or used the police to attack the BNP. However, we came to the conclusion that, as we are no longer any match for the BNP when it comes to intellectual debate about our policies, the only alternative was to use violence and dirty tricks to defeat them, and we know (and are proud of the fact) that our supporters, when instructed by us, behave like rabid dogs, striking fear into the hearts of all the opposition!

Labour party supporters get ready to attack members of the BNP. A fabulous, Nazi defeating bloodbath could result. Fantastic!!

With regard to the use of the Police to oppress our political enemies, they are part of the full range of state resources we have at our disposal, which is why we have made use of them to arrest, torture and harrass BNP supporters, wherever they find them, using the excuse of ‘anti racism’ to justify their actions

The strategies we are using are exactly the same as those of the ‘Uncle Robert’ of Zimbabwe, whose regime we greatly admire.  After all, he has managed to remain in power for 30 years, and, like him, we plan to do whatever it takes to remain in power, even if it results in the destruction of our country.

Also, don’t worry about civil war: This would be a highly desirable state of affairs as far as we are concerned, as it would provide us with a fantastic opportunity to curtail freedom of speech, which we find extremely annoying, and bring in even more repressive legislation, all in the name of ‘law and order’ and ‘state security’!

We spent 18 years getting to power, and you can rest assured, we will stop at nothing to stay there. 

Gordon

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09/11/2008: Another fabulous letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘Agony Uncle’

Dear Uncle Gordon

As a dedicated party activist and supporter of ‘The Party’, I am becoming increasingly concerned about the state of the economy, which is getting worse and worse, It seems to me that, by borrowing as much money as you have to bail out the banks and your mates in the City, you have either mortgaged the future of our children, or

created so much additional money that our currency will become as worthless as the Zimbabwe Dollar.

The feeling out there on the street, Gordon, is that we are heading for a major recession, falling standards of living and very hard times, and you and your government are responsible for this state of affairs. After all, you and you alone have been running the economy for the past 11 years, so who the hell else can the electorate blame?

I am seriously concerned that voters will show their annoyance at the next election, and you could end up out of work,after being voted out of power. (Just like the millions of hard working folk in the UK, who are now unemplyed as a result of your mismanagement)  There’s nothing more guaranteed to turn people off you than having less money in their pockets, even if they don’t give a s**t about all the other unpleasant things you are doing to them!

The economy: We’ve ruined it, but we tell the voters that foreigners are to blame, and that we’ll fix it, and the stupid buggers believe us! Fantastic

What’s your strategy for spinning and wriggling your way out of this one?

Norman

Brighton


Dear Norman

I think you have forgotton just how stupid and sheep like we believe the masses are, and bearing that in mind, the answer is obvious: We just tell the b***ers that, when the economy is good, we are responsible, but when it all turns to s**t, foreigners are to blame, and only WE can fix it, and the great unwashed out there are so stupid that they believe us.

In a nutshell, our winning strategy is to treat the voters with the contempt they deserve, and laugh as they give us another 5 years on the fabulous state sponsored gravy train, and even more time for us to implement our plans to destroy them.

To paraphrase Franklin D Roosevelt: You CAN fool all of the British electorate, all of the time!

 Cheers! Pass the Champagne!

Gordon

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21 Oct 08: YET ANOTHER WINNER: BUCKINGHAM PALACE AWARDED TO DESERVING DARK SKINNED ENRICHING PERSON!

As regular readers to this site will know, we award a free council house to all correspondents to our site, subject to our usual Terms and Conditions. Well, Etongly Charlemagne MacDonald has sent us

not just one, but THREE letters, all of which are full of diversity enrichment and foreign loveliness. We felt that an ordinary 7 bedroomed house in Ealing just wasn’t enough for an ‘enricher’ of this calibre, so we have awarded him the biggest, most luxurious council house we have available!

Situated at the end of the Mall, and the top of Buckingham Palace Rd this elegant 300 bedroomed residence is set in its own park with two lakes, 26 reception rooms, a large courtyard, and 24 hour security. At present this highly desirable property has been one of the last state owend residences occupied by a white person, a state of affairs which cannot be allowed to continue.

We consider that this property is eminiently suited to ethnic minorities, providing ample opportunities for the growing of various ‘recreational pharmaceuticals, and providing plenty of space for Etongy’s many wives and children 

To read Etongy’s latest letter, Click HERE

The latest council house to be awarded to a fantastic foreign person. We in the Labour Party believe that there should be no limit to taxpayers resources spent housing our fabulous, wonderful Labour voting foreign and dark skinned friends.

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28 September 2008: A reader writes about fabulous left wing violence!

Dear Uncle Gordon

I think the Labour Party, and all your fantastic ‘anti racist’ (actually ‘anti white’), pro unlimited immigration policies are wonderful, and, as an activist and party member, I work hard to violently disrupt the activities of the utterly evil BNP, and anyone who does not love our fantastic Labour voting cheap labour foreign friends.

Anyway, the other day me and my mates were on a well earned holiday in Paris when we saw an office block, clearly marked with the letters ‘BNP’! People were walking in and out of the building, openly and

without shame, and we were quite naturally horrified that there could be so many RACISTS in France brazenly going about their filthy Nazi business without any intervention by the State or Police, as would happen in the UK!

Anyway, I called up my Antifash mates in London and they came immediately on the Eurostar, with a large supply of ‘HOPE NOT HATE’ banners, and other anti fascist paraphanalia, and we immediately started picketing the building, chanting slogans and marching up and down. When that had no effect, we started throwing rocks at and anyone entering or leaving, and a pitched battle with the French Police ensued. We didn’t mind being attacked and arrested, because, of course, we were defending France and the whole of Europe from Fascism, a noble objective I am sure you will agree.

How we laughed, however, when, after we were arrested, the Police told us that, in France, BNP stands for ‘Banque Nationale de Paris’, a large bank, which has nothing to do with racist fascist nazi thugs at all! After a short spell in prison we are back in the UK, and, as always, we are ready, at a moment’s notice, to violently disrupt the activities of any political organisation which you and the Party disapprove of. If you need us, just give us a call!

Johnathan, Maryport

BNP: In Paris, the Banque Nationale de Paris, and nothing to do with the racist, fascist, nazi thug BNP party!

Dear Jonathan

What a wonderful story, and thanks for cheering us up! We larfed and larfed!

However, on a more serious note, it’s good to know that you folks are out there, ready to violently attack our political opponents at every opportunity. We in the Party think of you as our ‘Storm Troopers’, the vanguard of our movement, fighting against all those who want to prevent us bringing in even more wonderful Labour Party voting foreign people.

Unfortunately, there are many times when we are unable to compete with the Right intellectually, particularly with regard to our covert policy of of destroying the indigenous white working class population of the country, but you have proved that there are other, more effective methods of persuading people to our way of thinking.

As Richard Nixon said, ‘If you’ve got’em by the balls, their hearts and minds soon follow!’

Keep up the good work and thank you for your fantastic support!

Gordon

PS: Unfortunately, as you are white, we can’t give you a council house for your fabulous letter, but if you know a qualifying dark skinned or foreign person, let us know! (See our Terms and Conditions for more about our policy regarding the allocation of council housing.)

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20 September 2008: Fantastic ‘9-11’ competition: Win a fabulous council house!

HELP EXPLAIN HOW LOVELY MUSLIMS ARE AND WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE!!!

We in the Labour Party have a problem.  It seems, yet again, that Muslims, who we have invited to come to our country in countless numbers, are getting a bad press. Just when we think we are winning the propaganda war, and managing to convince the public just how peaceful, fantastic and lovely they are, they blow up tube trains or attempt to kill more white people by sending suicide bombers on to aircraft, which ruins our propaganda.

We KNOW that Muslims are wonderful, lovely people who only ever bring us joy and happiness through the ‘enrichment of diversity’, but the trouble is, we need to explain this to the general public. A couple of weeks ago we decided to post an article on this site, entitled 20 Reasons Why Muslims are so Wonderful, and had a brainstorming meeting to get some material, but to our surprise, none of us could think of a single reason!

It seems that, in actual fact, we have very little contact with them! If large numbers of them move in to an area, we move out, and if they go to our schools we take our kids out and send them to fee paying institutions instead. Apart from a few rich Muslims who we meet socially in order to get them to donate to our Party, it seems that, in reality, we avoid them whenever we can. As a result, we ended our session with a blank piece of paper!

We have concluded that the you great unwashed out there, the large mass of Labour voting public have far more exposure to Islamic loveliness and ‘diversity enrichment’ than we do, so we would like to invite you to provide us with the material we need, and at the same time, win a fabulous council house!

To enter, answer the following 3 questions: (in no more than 50 words)

  1. Can you think of a reason why Muslims are lovely lovely people?
  2. Do you have any examples of how Muslims contribute to the whole (not just the Islamic) community?
  3. Have you seen a Muslim helping non Muslims in any way at all? If so, why not nominate him or her for our fabulous ‘Muslim of the Year’ award

Send us answers to each of above questions (each answer counts as one entry) and all non white or foreign participants will win a FREE COUNCIL HOUSE!!! FANTASTIC!!! (Subject to our TERMS AND CONDITIONS) Email:WeHateWhiteBritishPeople@thelabourparty.org.uk 

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30 July: A letter to Uncle Gordon from yet another lucky winner of a fabulous council house.

Letter writer wins council house!

On 29 July we handed over the keys to a fantastic 5 bedroom council house in fashionable west London, to Etongy Charlemagne Macdonald, writer of our ‘letter of the week’ (See below). Etongy has graciously accepted the property we offered him and has even penned a letter of ‘tanks’. Etongy already has 3 council houses, but, we are pleased to award him another, if only to save it from being allocated accidentally to a white British family!

We are touched by Etongy’s (highly unusual) gratitude, so much so that we have reproduced his letter in full below, and awarded him ANOTHER countil house!! Thanks, Etongy!

Hey Honky Tonk,

Dat is tooly de best ting since Me and da bruvas come heerz ta colonize yo loovin I-land. Ize joost wantin ta mention, can I ave a hot howse so as I can growdem plantains (me want chilli oslo), because I wants to need it fo me cookin pot, ta make a new recipe for poor white people ta keep dem warm when that white stuff fall down in the street in cold paart o de year. Some times they call it snow, but sometimes me calls it white people. Dem is a ittle bit like snow, hey man, we joost licks dem and dem melt,turn to water and go away. I is considerin makin dis cooltaur betta wif me ere.

.Me knows so, becoz now I put de sofa, in de front garden, peorple can come and sit and chat 24/8.

My people back home, hear me tellin dem stories, and they can't believe how stoopid goovarnmant here is. Truly loovin me oop big thyme dance hall fun.

Me want ta have at least high five bedroom, ittle bit somethin for wakin big soond system,
ta help wake up me white neighbors so as dem caan go workin, if dem not too lazy ta find
a job between da Polish white bruvas, whose dem tellz me is really tick in da head always
a carryin on wwif de foony lingo and ating something like wool. I look one day and smell it.
I don't want no cabbage like dat growin in me niw allotedment.

Etongy’s fourth coucil house: Yet another property which white British people will never be allowed to live in! Fantastic!!

When yous people hier, can speaks to me like I speaks so well, den maybe we can get togetha, in me new haus man. Only ting is, me donts wants no honky tonks in me hood.

OK. Tank you labour party, four everyting under de sun, and me mamma sleeps good tonight.
I would kiss ya all, but - like I tell dem white girls, I is frightened o gettin da HGV, so I need lots of HTO(warta) to make a magic with. Tiz funny, da wayz o science and high teconologically higher tinkin. Like me. Havin ta explain dese tings to undereducated simple people whoze don't underthink local groovarnment.

Kazoomo - bakalinte- nasa - a'jembe Som nom naa Honki tonk

Etongy

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24 May 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our fabulous Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

In my area, all the sellers of the 'Big Issue' are foreign, (mostly Romanian Gipsies). Isn't it wonderful how, even

in this industry, they have undercut local labour, and are helping to increase sales of this fabulous publication, and hence boost the economy by creating work for printers and journalists.

Steve, Crystal Palace

Dear Steve

How wonderful to read of examples of how immigrants, through their enterprise and hard work, are contributing to the economy, and displacing even the homeless indigenous population by denying them a livelihood. After all, foreigners receive massive state handouts, including free housing, but they are still willing to work, even though they don't need to.

I regret that, unless the local white working class homeless 

Immigrant Big Issue sellers: A huge contribution to the economy.

scum can develop a sense of enterprise and hard work, they will starve to death on the streets, and I, for one, will not mourn their loss.

Gordon

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25 April 08: Another letter for Gordon, the Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

I was just thinking while reading the news the other day, just how similar Robert Mugabe’s Zanu PF in Zimbabwe, and our own wonderful Labour Party are to each other. To illustrate my point, have a look at the table I have created, which shows this very well, I’m sure you will agree:

 

Zanu PF

 

Za-Nu Labour PF

Hates white people of British origin and is and is working hard to make them leave the country.

Hates white people of British origin and is working hard to make them leave the country.

Uses ‘war veterans’ to displace white people from their farms and homes.

Uses immigrants to displace white people from their council estates and homes.

Rigs elections

Rigs elections

Has created a system of civil repression so that people are afraid to publicly speak their minds in case they are arrested.

Has created a system of civil repression so that people are afraid to publicly speak their minds in case they are arrested.

Use their position in government as an opportunity for personal enrichment (stealing), at the expense of the entire population

Use their position in government as an opportunity for personal enrichment (stealing), at the expense of the entire population

Will not listen to reason and believe that they are invincible

Will not listen to reason and believe that they are invincible

Say that they are socialists but have instituted policies which have made the vast majority of the population even poorer than before they came in to power.

Say that they are socialists but have instituted policies which have made the vast majority of the population even poorer than before they came in to power.

Have instituted detention without trial and officially sanctioned torture as a means of neutralising all political opposition.

Have instituted detention without trial and officially sanctioned torture as a means of neutralising all political opposition.

Solves the nation’s financial problems by printing more money, thereby ultimately making the country’s currency worthless. ($1=Zim$250000000000)

Solves the nation’s financial problems by printing more money, thereby ultimately making the country’s currency worthless. (Bailing out the banksters, £300 Bilion, quantitative easing, etc.).

As you can see, Gordon, the resemblance between your regime and that of Robert Mugabe is uncanny, so much so that I have a suggestion for you: Why not re-name our party Zanu Nu-Labour, or even Nu-Labour PF? That way, ordinary folks would immediately comprehend the proud political tradition of the party, and would far more easily understand the reasons why Labour (PF) governs the way it does.

Robert, Orpington

Spot the difference: Left: Robert Gabriel Mugabe: Socialist president of Zimbabwe. Right: Gordon Brown, socialist prime minister of Bongo Bongo Land. (formerly the United Kingdom). 

Dear Robert (no relation to our friend in Zimbabwe I hope!)

Thanks for your letter and yes, you are absolutely correct. We in the Labour Party have great admiration for Robert Mugabe, a war hero and socialist, who has clung on to power for nearly 30 years, and we have modelled our regime on on his wonderfully successful period in office. It is indeed gratifying to know that even ordinary folks can now spot the similarities between our two regimes.

We will definitely consider your suggestion of a change of name, with my preference being
Nu-Labour PF. It trips off the tongue nicely.

For writing this month’s star letter, you win a council house (as long as you are dark skinned or foreign) Congratulations!!

Gordon

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21 March 2008: Important ‘enrichment of diversity’ community relations news.

The word ‘Muslim’ is not to be used as an expletive.

We have been receiving disturbing reports from all over the country that the word ‘Muslim’ is being used as a replacement for the usual four letter Anglo-Saxon terms that we have all come to know and love. An example was a 15 year old student in Bolton, who was heard to say, I’m just going to the toilet to have a quick Muslim’, and a motorist in Poole, who, on being forced to take evasive action by another vehicle, shouted out, ‘You Muslim’ at the offending driver. 

We are, quite naturally, appalled by this. As we have always said, all Muslims are lovely, lovely Labour voting people who, through the wonders of the enrichment of diversity, bring us unlimited joy and happiness. 

They only ever engage in acts of violence if anyone criticicises them, or fails to give in to their demands, and we are committed to allowing millions more of them in to our country, so that even more of us can experience this utterly wonderful loveliness, so this use of ‘Muslim as a swear word has to stop!

We will shortly be bringing in legislation which will outlaw the use of the words, ‘Muslim’, ‘Islamic’ and ‘Terrorist’ in any kind of perjorative sense, and, by the use of phone taps and microphones, will detect, and arrest the perpetrators, and put them in prison, where they belong. You have been warned!

REMEMBER: UNCLE GORDON IS WATCHING YOU!

An example of Islamic loveliness. Anyone using the word ‘Muslim as an expletive will be sent to prison, where they belong.

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17 Feb 2008: Fantastic unlimited immigration news.

Immigrants: Even their shit is superior!

Great news for all Labour Party Supporters! Conclusive proof that our policy of uncontrolled, unlimited immigration is justified, and one in the eye for all those appalling racist fascist nazi thug BNP supporters out there! An analysis of fecal matter obtained from foreigners and dark skinned people, particularly muslims, proves beyond doubt that their excrement is VASTLY SUPERIOR to the filthy, disgusting crap that white indigenous people produce, and a fabulous tribute to us and the marvellous multicultural paradise we have created in the last 10 years!

We were first alerted to this wonderful news by a story in the press that two lovely foreigners were selling chocolate cake smeared with faeces in Cardiff. (Click HERE for full story). 

Subsequently, hundreds Labour Party supporters have told us that they, too, find that foreign shit is delicious, and they use their dung as a cheap, nutritious and tasty ingredient in all kinds of dishes, prepared in their restaurants and in foods sold to British people everywhere.

Our research shows that, while white faeces, is revolting, has no value at all, is a public health hazard, and is something to be dealt with and removed from our council estates (and even our country) as quickly as possible, foreign shit is wonderfully tasty, fragrant, and has a chocolate like consistency. This would explain its prolific use in foreign recipes, particulary where the food created is to be sold to white people.

Above: Foreign faeces: Delicious, like chocolate.

White indigenous dung: Malodorous, disgusting, and a public health hazard.

Further research has revealed that this phenomenon has been known about for years by the water utilities, who have found that the current infrastructure is inadequate to deal with foreigner’s faeces. 

A spokesman for the Water Companies Association of England and Wales said, ‘The huge mass of immigrants in the past few years have put a huge strain on our underground pipes and sewers, and has resulted in us being forced to spend billions of pounds of taxpayer’s money renewing them Allied to this is the fact that immigrant excrement has a completely different, taste, smell and texture to white dung. Quite frankly, we are not surprised that foreign folks are adding the stuff to cakes and curries, and I am sure the results are absolutely mouth watering.’

Remember, next time you tuck in to a scrumptious shit smeared chocolate cake, lovingly prepared for you by our fantastic foreign friends, that it was the Labour Party who were responsible for this massive influx of foreign fecal matter, and, rest assured, we plan to allow many, many more fabulous foreigners to come to our country, so in the future all you white folks will have even more opportunities to experience immigrant shit. Fantastic!!

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New!! ‘Enrichment of diversity’ special update box.

We in the Labour Party are proud of our covert, but fantastically successful policy of uncontrolled, unlimited immigration, and are always on the lookout for stories on the internet and in the press which illustrate just how wonderful foreign folks are,and how they enrich the lives of all you worthless white working class oiks out there. 

There have been so many lovely stories recently that we are now placing the latest updates below, in this special box, and have moved other articles to our special ‘Enrichment’ page. (Click HERE to view)

14 December 2007 Delicious Charlene kebabs anyone?

Here’s a fantastic story of a wonderful foreign kebab shop owner who was obviously inspired by the story of Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street, and decided to murder his young white girlfriend and turn her into a kebab! You can definitely say that Charlene Downes, 14, has experienced at first hand the ‘enrichment of diversity’! For more on this heartwarming, delicious story, of how foreign folk are becoming assimilitated into our communities click HERE

Charlene Downes: Made into delicious foreign food. Thanks to the Labour Party for bringing us this wonderful enrichment of diversity!

Remember, when reading stories like this, that it was the Labour Party which brought you all this wonderful loveliness, and, rest assured, we plan to bring you much more of it, by making it even easier for fabulous foreign folks to come to our country, along with their charming, fascinating customs, so don’t forget to thank us by voting Labour in the next election.

Have you seen any stories which should be included in this section? Send them to us at enrichment@thelabourparty.org.uk and we will publish them here. All participants will, as usual, receive a free council house. (Subject to our usual terms and conditions)

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10 November 2007: Another fantastic letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

LEST WE FORGET

Dear Uncle Gordon,

I spent six years in the army during World War Two, and saw action in North Africa, Italy and Germany, where I was wounded twice, and lost most of my left arm. 

I am proud to have served my country, and to have fought for freedom, and I am now delighted to see that the sacrifices we made have benefited not only my fellow Brits, but folks from all over the world who can now come to Britain without restriction, and be given free homes, health care, money and education. I think it is fantastic that the Labour Party has extended the benefits of the sacrifices we made to all these fabulous foreign people, often at the expense of my own countrymen.

In fact, it is also wonderful to see that your government, apart from giving these amazingly lovely people everything they need, is also allowing them to impose their way of life and culture on the country, so much so, that we are not even allowed to celebrate Christmas any more, for fear of offending them.

Only half of the members of our regiment ever made it back to the UK, the rest were killed in action, but I know that if they were alive today they would thank the Labour Party for this wonderful, creative use of the freedom we spilled so much blood to defend, all those years ago.

On Remembrance Sunday, let us pause for a minute and thank the fallen for their sacrifice, while all the ‘enriched’ foreigners the Party has allowed in sit in their free houses, blissfully unaware of the fact that we fought for them to be allowed to peacefully colonise our country.

Reg, Wolverhampton

Our Valiant Dead: They sacrificed their lives so that foreigners could come here and get free houses.

Dear Reg

Thank you for your wonderful letter, and the sentiments you have expressed. We can assure you that we are immensely grateful for what you have done for this country, and we plan to continue to allow countless millions more foreigners to come to our country to benefit from the freedom you and your comrades fought so hard to preserve.

Unfortunately, budgetary constraints mean that we cannot increase pensions to veterans, but we will definitely remember you on 11 November.

Gordon

18 September 2007: More fantastic ‘enrichment of diversity’ news.

Fantastic news! Now you can experience all the joy and happiness that foreign folks bring us, abroad as well as here in the UK! Folks visiting Cherbourg, in France, have a wonderful opportunity to meet and experience lovely lovely asylum seekers , heading for the UK, even while on holiday! 

For more about this wonderful example of immigrant loveliness, which we in the Labour Party are proud to have brought you, (and those lucky people in northern France), click HERE

13 Aug 2007: More fabulous ‘enrichment of diversity’ news.

Here is another example of lovely wonderful foreign people enriching us with their fantastic and colourful customs. We in the Labour Party are proud of the fact that we have brought you, the undeserving white working classes of this country, an interesting sexual practice: The gang raping of young girls under the age of 16. 

Just think: In the past, young white girls had to wait until they were 16 before enjoying sex, but now they can enjoy it much earlier, from as young as 9, just like folks in Asian countries do. For more on this latest example of immigrant loveliness, click HERE.

Although this practice is technically illegal, we in the Labour Party consider that cultural enrichment of this type should be allowed to continue, as long as none of our children are involved, and we have told the Police to turn a blind eye, in the interests of community relations. Fantastic!

Remember: The Labour Party believes that all foreigners are good, British people bad. Muslims good, Christians bad. Black people good, white people bad. We are committed to unlimited immigration which will bring us the fantastic gift of cheap labour. Anyone who says anything nasty about us, our policies or about immigrants will be arrested and sent to prison forever, after a short show trial. Vote for the Labour Party if you share our committment to a doubling of the population within the next 5 years. 

mmm
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