Labour Party UK England Scotland Wales UK Unofficial

Welcome to the true home of the British Labour Party

This site has been created by Labour Party supporters and enthusiasts to help explain the true nature of our policies and what we are trying to achieve.

We are also providing valuable resources for Labour canvassers, who are often asked awkward questions on the doorstep. Hopefully, this site will provide you with everything you need to give as good as you get from the small number of stupid people out there who don’t understand our policies on immigration, the economy, and why we are at war.

New!!! Visit our Ask Gordon section (formerly ‘Ask Tony’) , to have your questions answered by our very own Labour Agony Uncle, and Testimonials from satisfied voters (mostly ethnic minorities).

For the latest updates see below.

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	02 June 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our fabulous Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

	Dear Gordon I no happy. You said if I cum to Britain from Pakistan an vote Labour, you give me everything I want but not case. Yes I get four big council house for all wives and thirty seven kids, free health care, and welfare cheques, but not enough. There no Mosque in area you send me. I have to get Infidel transport and it take twenty minutes to arrive at local mosque. I also complain about white people. When I get on bus to go to Mosque with all forty two family, they give dirty looks, complain about smelling curry, and they not give up seats to superior Muslim. This racist! You told me no racism in Britain. Why is no Muslim only bus service? And why no Mosque where I am? Two churches, no Mosque. Why you not shut down and replace with mosque? You not bend over backward far enough for me! Asif Azmel Sedgefield

	*Dear Asif* *Good grief! Why on earth did you not tell us earlier about your terrible suffering before? Twenty minutes to the Mosque and no dedicated Muslim transport!* We have discovered that there is an old age home near to where you live, which we plan to turn in to mosque as soon as possible, and will implement your fabulous idea of Muslim only buses, so you can remain completely separate from the revolting white community, who you, like us, utterly despise, as soon as we possibly can. Rest assured, we in the Labour Party will do anything we can to get that wonderful Islamic ‘block vote’, and would not only bend over backwards, but forwards so that you and all Muslims can fk us (and all British taxpayers) up the ae if that’s what it takes. *Gordon*

24 May 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our fabulous Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

In my area, all the sellers of the 'Big Issue' are foreign, (mostly Romanian Gipsies). Isn't it wonderful how, even

in this industry, they have undercut local labour, and are helping to increase sales of this fabulous publication, and hence boost the economy by creating work for printers and journalists.

Steve, Crystal Palace

Dear Steve

How wonderful to read of examples of how immigrants, through their enterprise and hard work, are contributing to the economy, and displacing even the homeless indigenous population by denying them a livelihood. After all, foreigners receive massive state handouts, including free housing, but they are still willing to work, even though they don't need to.

I regret that, unless the local white working class homeless




		Immigrant Big Issue sellers: A huge contribution to the economy.


	scum can develop a sense of enterprise and hard work, they will starve to death on the streets, and I, for one, will not mourn their loss. Gordon

24 May 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our fabulous Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

I very worry. I coming next week to the England for the free house and everyting, but I see that in local and by election, Conservative party win. Will black people like me still get free houses and can come to UK no problem, no border control?

Ahmad, Mogadishu

Dear Ahmad

Don't worry: Both the Labour and Conservative parties share exactly the same objectives:

To make rich people richer by bringing in unlimited amounts of cheap labour from the third world.
To displace and destroy the indigenous white working population, and
To devote the majority our time in office to 'personal enrichment'.

As a result, I can confidently state that our borders will remain uncontrolled, and all state resources, such as housing, health care, education, etc, will be continue to be allocated to dark skinned and foreign folk, no matter which of our two parties is in office.

We have now entered a fabulous new era in British politics, where ordinary people have been effectively disenfranchised, because no matter who they vote for, nothing will change, so rest assured, a warm welcome and a free council




	Good news for foreigners: Uncle David, Conservative, has EXACTLY the same policies as us, so unlimted immigration will continue.

house await you from the moment you step off your plane in the UK, with your false passport in one hand and your other hand outstreched awaiting your first taxpayer funded handout.

Gordon

25 April 08: Another letter for Gordon, the Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

I was just thinking while reading the news the other day, just how similar Robert Mugabe’s Zanu PF in Zimbabwe, and our own wonderful Labour Party are to each other. To illustrate my point, have a look at the table I have created, which shows this very well, I’m sure you will agree:

Zanu PF	Nu-Labour PF
Hates white people of British origin and is and is working hard to make them leave the country.	Hates white people of British origin and is working hard to make them leave the country.
Uses ‘war veterans’ to displace white people from their farms and homes.	Uses immigrants to displace white people from their council estates and homes.
Rigs elections	Rigs elections
Has created a system of civil repression so that people are afraid to publicly speak their minds in case they are arrested.	Has created a system of civil repression so that people are afraid to publicly speak their minds in case they are arrested.
Use their position in government as an opportunity for personal enrichment (stealing), at the expense of the entire population	Use their position in government as an opportunity for personal enrichment (stealing), at the expense of the entire population
Will not listen to reason and believe that they are invincible	Will not listen to reason and believe that they are invincible
Say that they are socialists but have instituted policies which have made the vast majority of the population even poorer than before they came in to power.	Say that they are socialists but have instituted policies which have made the vast majority of the population even poorer than before they came in to power.
Have instituted detention without trial and officially sanctioned torture as a means of neutralising all political opposition.	Have instituted detention without trial and officially sanctioned torture as a means of neutralising all political opposition.
Solves the nation’s financial problems by printing more money, thereby ultimately making the country’s currency worthless. ($1=Zim$250000000000)	Solves the nation’s financial problems by printing more money, thereby ultimately making the country’s currency worthless. (Northern Rock £100 billion,, £50 billion created to bail out banks).

As you can see, Gordon, the resemblance between your regime and that of Robert Mugabe is uncanny, so much so that I have a suggestion for you: Why not re-name our party Zanu Nu-Labour, or even Nu-Labour PF? That way, ordinary folks would immediately comprehend the proud political tradition of the party, and would far more easily understand the reasons why Labour (PF) governs the way it does.

Robert, Orpington






		Spot the difference: Left: Robert Gabriel Mugabe: Socialist president of Zimbabwe. Right: Gordon Brown, socialist prime minister of Bongo Bongo Land. (formerly the United Kingdom).

	*Dear Robert (no relation to our friend in Zimbabwe I hope!)* Thanks for your letter and yes, you are absolutely correct. We in the Labour Party have great admiration for Robert Mugabe, a war hero and socialist, who has clung on to power for nearly 30 years, and we have modelled our regime on on his wonderfully successful period in office. It is indeed gratifying to know that even ordinary folks can now spot the similarities between our two regimes. We will definitely consider your suggestion of a change of name, with my preference being Nu-Labour PF. It trips off the tongue nicely. *For writing this month’s star letter, you win a council house (as long as you are dark skinned or foreign) Congratulations!!* *Gordon*

22 April 2008: Another letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Gordy

It seems as though you are having a bit of a hard time of it lately, what with all the problems that we have now ( all caused by Tony of course ) but not to worry as I have something that may help you to repair any of the following:-

Terrorism and hatred of the indiginous population (especially the English).
The impending doom and possible collapse of the once booming economy and all those naughty banks (especially that Northern Rock Mob) with all that money that they keep taking from us, (sorry!): You.
Those very naughty MPs with all those undisclosed expenses who are gradually bleeding us all dry.
Your rapidly falling ratings in the polls and the rising support for those nasty people in the unmentionable (British National) party (thousands of them apparantly).
The problems associated with inflation, the rapidly decreasing Pound against the Euro due to all the billions in Sterling that have been pumped into Europe in order to underpin the Euro, even after you used all your own money and sold off all of your very own gold reserves in order to subsidise the economies of our European couzins. Rotten eh!
The constant moaning of all those hard working, taxpaying Brits who, even now still have not quite realised that all their houses are not really worth anywhere near the values that have been placed on them in the past ten years or so. Just wait till they twig onto the fact that that your naughty, naughty ministers will probably panic them to vote in the Euro in exchange for the Pound at a rate of one for one and their house and property values will plummet by about half overnight.
The fact that all the immigration has apparently not been so great for the country (they are sending most of their money home and at the same time overloading our already overstreched services) and the great multicultural experiment, that didn’t work either, did it.
Strikes! Gordy, strikes! They are all at it now. Teachers, Coppers, Postmen, Civil Servants, whatever next? The bloody Army?
Criminals, Gordy boy, see you Jimmy, they are all at it as well. False passports, driving documents, credit cards, scamming the DHSS, stealing laptops and CDs from secure government vehicles etc: killing ordinary people and old ladies in the street for no reason and the joke is Gordy that they even think that they will get away with it (they think that they won't get sent to prison as it's full), they are even dealing in drugs and people trafficking. Can you believe it Gordy mate. What next? Slavery?
Education Gordy. Christ! It seems that some kids are leaving school and can't read and write let alone add up their wages or work out the mortgage if they should be lucky enough to find a job or buy a house.

I don't know Gordy mate, there are probably dozens of other issues that I could go on about, airports and busses blowing up, forced marriages, honour killings, homicide bombers, ferel kids, global cooling, devolution, food crops being replaced by bio crops, etc: etc: etc: but not to worry Gordy old buddy because I have the answer. Yes I have just what you need! I was going to keep it a secret but seeing that you are in such a dour, sorry, dire situation, I have decided to let you in on it but promise me you won't tell anyone else or everyone will want it. Promise mind, cross your heart and hope to die????

Well it's Vinegar and Brown paper, and the best bit though is that it's dirt cheap, you could get a whole lorry load of it if you wanted to and besides all the problems that I have listed here it has a thousand and one other uses. You might even be able to patch up some of those poor soldiers in that poxy hospital in Birmingham, although I don't know if it works on M.R.S.A. or any of those other 'superbugs' .

Oh, just an afterthought, you can also use some tape with it if you want. I find the best stuff is the Brown type, the one you use to seal up parcels etc: when you want to seal up something to send it out of the country but watch it mind because it's very sticky!

Seymore White.
UK region EU




		Vinegar and brown paper: Seymor’s ‘miracle cure’, but we prefer good old fashioned uncontrolled and unlimited immigration as a cure for all our party’s problems. Immigrants always vote Labour!

Dear Seymore

Thank you for your letter, but I’m not sure about the practicality of your solution. What we in the Labour Party believe will solve all our problems, is unlimited and uncontrolled immigration, which at the very least will ensure that there are many more wonderful Labour voters out there, so that we can stay in power and continue to enjoy the privileges of the fabulous Westminster gravy train, which, at the end of the day, is all we really care about.

Gordon

6 April 2008: Fantastic Labour Party electoral fraud news

	HELP US RIG THE ELECTIONS ON 1 MAY AND WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE!

	Urgent call to all our supporters: At the May 1st local government elections, use our incredibly well designed and fraudulent ‘postal vote ghost voter’ system to help us stay in power. This particularly applies to all you fabulous immigrants out there: If you want to continue to receive free houses, money, health care, etc, and to be allowed to bring in unlimited numbers of friends and relatives to our country, you need to help us to help you.



		Elections: We’ll only win if we cheat on May 1st!

	Here’s all you need to do:: Register to vote, even if you have no right to do so, using the form supplied by your local authority. (You MUST register by 16 April.) Add as many fictitious names to the form as you can. Apply for postal votes for each of these ‘ghost’ voters. Put a cross in the box next to the Labour Party candidate. Send your forms to your local Labour Party, and we will arrange for a luxurious 3 bedroomed council house to be allocated to you for every 10 fraudulent votes! (Subject to our usual terms and conditions) Note to Labour Party canvassers and activists: Don’t waste time canvassing! Simply visit local care homes and geriatric hospitals, and offer to ‘help’ the confused residents to vote, by taking in their blank postal voting forms, to save them having to post them. Then, just put a cross next to the Labour Party. Remember, we don’t want to waste time winning the old fashioned way, by convincing voters that our policies are the best, or by asking them to judge us on our record. The modern, New Labour way to victory is to by cheating. It’s worked for Robert Mugabe for 30 years, so why not for us! We believe that elections are merely a means of establishing our legitimacy, not an opportunity for the electorate to vote us out of power. Warning: This method is only permitted if used to help Labour to win. Anyone trying it on behalf of ANY OTHER PARTY will be arrested and sent to prison. WE CHEAT AND WE WIN! VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN, VOTE LABOUR!! HELP THE LABOUR PARTY TO RUN ELECTIONS ROBERT MUGABE WOULD BE PROUD OF!

21 March 2008: Important ‘enrichment of diversity’ community relations news.

The word ‘Muslim’ is not to be used as an expletive.

We have been receiving disturbing reports from all over the country that the word ‘Muslim’ is being used as a replacement for the usual four letter Anglo-Saxon terms that we have all come to know and love. An example was a 15 year old student in Bolton, who was heard to say, I’m just going to the toilet to have a quick Muslim’, and a motorist in Poole, who, on being forced to take evasive action by another vehicle, shouted out, ‘You Muslim’ at the offending driver.

We are, quite naturally, appalled by this. As we have always said, all Muslims are lovely, lovely Labour voting people who, through the wonders of the enrichment of diversity, bring us unlimited joy and happiness.

They only ever engage in acts of violence if anyone criticicises them, or fails to give in to their demands, and we are committed to allowing millions more of them in to our country, so that even more of us can experience this utterly wonderful loveliness, so this use of ‘Muslim as a swear word has to stop!

We will shortly be bringing in legislation which will outlaw the use of the words, ‘Muslim’, ‘Islamic’ and ‘Terrorist’ in any kind of perjorative sense, and, by the use of phone taps and microphones, will detect, and arrest the perpetrators, and put them in prison, where they belong. You have been warned!

REMEMBER: UNCLE GORDON IS WATCHING YOU!




	An example of Islamic loveliness. Anyone using the word ‘Muslim as an expletive will be sent to prison, where they belong.

17 Feb 2008: Fantastic unlimited immigration news.


	Immigrants: Even their shit is superior!

Great news for all Labour Party Supporters! Conclusive proof that our policy of uncontrolled, unlimited immigration is justified, and one in the eye for all those appalling racist fascist nazi thug BNP supporters out there! An analysis of fecal matter obtained from foreigners and dark skinned people, particularly muslims, proves beyond doubt that their excrement is VASTLY SUPERIOR to the filthy, disgusting crap that white indigenous people produce, and a fabulous tribute to us and the marvellous multicultural paradise we have created in the last 10 years!

We were first alerted to this wonderful news by a story in the press that two lovely foreigners were selling chocolate cake smeared with faeces in Cardiff. (Click HERE for full story).

Subsequently, hundreds Labour Party supporters have told us that they, too, find that foreign shit is delicious, and they use their dung as a cheap, nutritious and tasty ingredient in all kinds of dishes, prepared in their restaurants and in foods sold to British people everywhere.

Our research shows that, while white faeces, is revolting, has no value at all, is a public health hazard, and is something to be dealt with and removed from our council estates (and even our country) as quickly as possible, foreign shit is wonderfully tasty, fragrant, and has a chocolate like consistency. This would explain its prolific use in foreign recipes, particulary where the food created is to be sold to white people.




		Above: Foreign faeces: Delicious, like chocolate.




	White indigenous dung: Malodorous, disgusting, and a public health hazard.

Further research has revealed that this phenomenon has been known about for years by the water utilities, who have found that the current infrastructure is inadequate to deal with foreigner’s faeces.

A spokesman for the Water Companies Association of England and Wales said, ‘The huge mass of immigrants in the past few years have put a huge strain on our underground pipes and sewers, and has resulted in us being forced to spend billions of pounds of taxpayer’s money renewing them Allied to this is the fact that immigrant excrement has a completely different, taste, smell and texture to white dung. Quite frankly, we are not surprised that foreign folks are adding the stuff to cakes and curries, and I am sure the results are absolutely mouth watering.’

Remember, next time you tuck in to a scrumptious shit smeared chocolate cake, lovingly prepared for you by our fantastic foreign friends, that it was the Labour Party who were responsible for this massive influx of foreign fecal matter, and, rest assured, we plan to allow many, many more fabulous foreigners to come to our country, so in the future all you white folks will have even more opportunities to experience immigrant shit. Fantastic!!

6 Jan 2007: Another fantastic letter for Gordon, our Labour Party ‘agony uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

I come to UK in lorry last week, I no want to wait for papers or British passport, you know good forger or lawyer he fix this for me?

Ramsamy, London

Dear Ramsamy

The News of the World recently did a feature on a number of fabulous law firms which can offer you a first class service, including passports, utility bills, indefinite leave, etc, and some of them offer a 1 week service! The Home Office works closely with these firms, through ‘associates’ working in the highly diversified immigration and nationality directorate, so good results are guaranteed.

If these firms can’t help, many law practices which have legal practitioners with names like Odinga., Mensah, Mahmoud, etc, will definitely be able to help you with your immigration issues, in ways which are not strictly within the letter of the law, and, of course, we will ensure that the relevant departments turn a blind eye. We want to help you ‘enrich’ us with ‘diversity’ at every opportunity!

Once you have all your paperwork, don’t forget to visit your local housing office so you can be allocated your free home, and, of course, please register to vote, in as many false names as possible, and VOTE LABOUR! If you don’t, it’s possible that a party which wants to end our fantastic ‘open border’ system may come in to power, and then it will be much more difficult to get your many relatives in to the country, so that they can in turn, be give free houses.

Gordon

28 December 2007: Another letter for Gordon, our fabulous Labour Party ‘Agony Uncle’.

Dear Uncle Gordon

I live in Crewe, a town which has a massive, and growing Polish community, which, of course, is absolutely wonderful, and I feel enriched by their fantastic culture, particularly their capacity to consume massive quantities of alcohol, their highly entertaining drunken violence, and the way they enjoy themselves and party noisily all night. I also love the way 50 of them can live happily in a 2 bedroomed house!

My problem is, I am unemployed, and every time I apply for a job, I am told that I have no chance of being hired unless I speak Polish. In desperation, I have decided to learn the language, but our local college of further education wants £500 per term, which I can't afford.

I have heard that your government is spending millions of pounds providing free English Language courses for foreigners, so I wondered if it might be possible for you to do the opposite, and provide financial assistance to people like me who, as a result of your incredibly succesful policy of uncontrolled immigration, now lack the necessary Polish language skills to be employable in the United Kingdom.

Colin, Crewe

Dear Colin

As you know, the sole purpose of the Labour Government is to provide resources to foreign and dark skinned people, ourselves at every opportunity, and, of course, the business community, not the indigenous white popul